You might be a Pentecostal . . .

Submitted by Thomas Johnson

Please review the following check list. If you can answer yes to 12 or more of the following, then you might be a Pentecostal.

You know you are Pentecostal when:

1) The amount of money you spend on hairspray exceeds your gas bill.

2) Your pastor announces midweek services EVERY Sunday night.

3) You (or the ladies you know) can swim in a denim skirt and still have
fun.

4) It takes longer to TAKE prayer requests than it does to pray for them.

5) Your brother or sister in the Lord hugs you right in the middle of
Wal-Mart.

6) The musicians at your church can tear it up, but none of them can read sheet music.

7) You have 50 pairs of church shoes.

8) You're adept at stopping runs in stockings with just about anything.

9) You're considered an old maid if you're not married by age 18.

10) You consider Bible college "higher education."

11) Running the aisles and jumping up and down is your exercise.

12) You could be an Olympic volleyball player with all the practice from
church functions.

13) A birthday party is a night on the town.

14) Your white choir moves like Kirk Franklin's group.

15) The pastor says, "With this thought, I close," more than three times
each service.

16) You have adequate respect for the power of flying hairpins.

17) Your feet have been stomped on at least 3 times during a service.

18) A run in your last pair of stockings is a national disaster.

19) You judge a church service by swollen eyes, rumpled clothes, and
disheveled hair.

20) Your kids know how to eat any crunchy thing quietly.

21) When shopping for shirts, you always run it through the "Praise The
Lord" test.

22) Sunday and Wednesday mean no cooking or dishes.

23) You can maneuver into a vehicle without messing up your hairdo.

24) Celebrating your 21st birthday doesn't mean much.

25) The employees at Burger King know you by name.

26) You can always find hairpins on the floor after a good service.

27) You can pronounce, "Habakkuk."

28) Mondays and Thursdays are the hardest days to wake up in the morning.

29) Your day of rest includes 2 church services, choir practice, and Golden Corral.

30) The kids you know think shot glasses are for playing communion.

31) Growing up you baptize your cousins and siblings several times in the swimming pool.

32) Your 2 year-old runs through Wal-Mart shouting, "Praise the Lord! In mud, eels are, in pine tar, none are. *clap, clap* Yes, Lord! Yes, Lord! Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah!"

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