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Girlfriend 7.0 upgrade to Wife 1.0

Submitted by Kilgore Joel SSgt 3 CCSS/CYTM

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Monday Night Football 10.3, Late at Office 2.5, and NASCAR 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever elected. I can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but UN-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Client

Dear Client:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0, and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to UN-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Eph 5:28 "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command "I APOLOGIZE". In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the "I APOLOGIZE" command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

As with all upgrades to NT (New Testament), you must reinstall Service Pack. If you will go to www.jcknows.org and download HUSBAND 1.0, this will update your current operating system. It seems to need upgrading also. After installing this service pack, read the instruction manual under Prov 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Best of luck. Tech Support

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