My testimony of Deliverance from suicide

Even after all these years, I cannot tell my testimony of near death without strong emotion. Many of us can say, “Had God not intervened, I would be dead today.” But my story of suicide leaves me with no doubt. I would not be alive today… I would not be penning these words…I would not know you, my many friends…because I would be in hell at this very moment. What a shattering, sobering thought!

Many of you know how that, upon reaching the depths of hopelessness and despair, I methodically swallowed over 700 powerful, mind-altering pills. I did not know the Lord then, and I had but one goal—to die. I could not face life anymore. The pain had finally become too much.

For a week I lay in a coma, hovering between life and death. The doctors called in my family, doubting that I would pull through this thing. But God had a plan and a purpose for this pitiful, messed up life, and He would not let me die. My first reaction when I came out of the coma was fierce anger at being alive; today, my reaction is one of deepest, fervent gratitude to a God of tremendous mercy and compassion. He did not have to do that. If I’d gotten what I deserved, He should have let me have my own way and die in my terrible sins.

Attempted suicide being a crime back in those days, I was committed to a mental hospital. I was in the middle of a Master’s program at the time, and finals were coming up. I asked to be discharged so I could return to school. Permission denied, they did agree to have my books brought in so I could study.

The nurse who delivered the books to my room asked, “What are all these things for?”

“They are books.” I hoped I had my most sarcastic tone.

“Yes, I know that—what are they for?”

“ I’m working on my Master’s.”

“Masters? In what?”

“Psychology.”

She leaned against the doorjamb, chewing on her bottom lip. “Why, if I may ask, are you studying psychology?”

“Because,” I said levelly, “I’m going to be a psychologist.” At this point she actually laughed out loud. “A psychologist? You?”

I don’t think she really meant to be unkind, but she was rubbing
some salt in my wounds. “What’s so funny about that?”

She grew silent for a moment and looked at me with pinpoint eyes. With a sweeping motion of her arm, she said, “Look at yourself! In a mental hospital. You’ll never be a psychologist — you need a psychologist! You will never get a masters degree!”

In spite of the stabbing hurt, something rose up in me —a determination to prove this woman and all of the professionals wrong—a determination to rise above this thing.

Not only did I go on to earn my masters, but also my doctorate. Not only did I fulfill my dream to be a psychologist—I also knew the thrill of rejecting it all when the Word of God showed me a better way. If I can do it, my friend, you can do it. Because with God all things are possible. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!
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God bless you,
Your friend,
Lynda Allison Doty

"He sent His word and healed them..." Psalm 107:20
www.apostolic.net/awomansplace
www.upci.org/hm/evangelists

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